Letters

Dear girl such a distance apart,

I thought about you yesterday and the day before that. Where are you now, I wonder at this exact moment, dear? Anyway, before anything I pray that you and your family are well. Stay out of trouble because a little bit can go a long way, you out of all people should know that. I'm writing this because I miss you, I really do. Just come back, as simple as that. Well, no I guess you shouldn't. Stay where you are and eventually things will bring us together again. May I trust you with something? I've never felt so alone in my life. Ever. Not even as a child when I only entrusted to myself the most peculiar things I learned, not even as a fifth grader who sat on the bench and thought of the most peculiar things, and here I am now, someone older who doesn't understand anything peculiar. I wonder if that even makes sense because I've learned I'm becoming less and less articulate as a speaker and writer. I'm nervous all the time, I'm tense all the time, I get ticked easily all the time. I wonder if you could help me with this. No, nevermind, I should be helping myself. I have a feeling I was not supposed to be here, doing what I'm doing. It feels all wrong, everything seems so wrong. How do I fix this? How do I fix myself to become a better person? That's the only thing I've ever wanted to become and that's the aspect of my life where I've screwed up the most. I feel like I'm getting stupider and more isolated everyday, I feel like nonsense all the time. I want to grow up and work and never see anyone that I didn't have to anymore. That won't take away the problem though, because I am the biggest problem I know.

Yours,
Anahi