Oh God,

Is it so wrong? So wrong that through this perfection, that through all of this seemingly impenetrable beauty, I still find holes? Perforations caused by my sharp little doubt poking at the most troubled aspects of my heart cannot help but unravel wounds that would have otherwised healed easily. I could not help it, sir, but to bring back a large duffel back full of letters drawn on by broken script, and pictures turned green; every zipper brings another heartache, every pouch has another promise. I dragged it here, I dwell in its contents and I do this for no reason. For no good reason. For no reason other than to remember what it felt like to be stupidly (so very pathetically) so very earnestly (so very deeply) in......

Yours, Anahi

My Dearest Swingset,

For the past two days I've found happiness in nothing but you.
I secretly hope you turn around and betray me somehow.

Sincerely, Anahi

Anahi,

"I love you, my beautiful Constanze. You are the chemical makeup of every breath I take. You are the reason my heart beats. You are the reason for my existence. I live for you; I live to make you happy; I live to make you feel loved; I live for your love."

-Christian

Spectrum

Dear World,
You've become a beautiful place, where melancholy and nostalgia beautifully intertwines with the novelty of a different lifestyle and the ambition I've so recently begun to obtain. I enjoy you, I thrive in you, I inhale what you exhale as you inhale what I exhale and we've established a rhythm to this synchronized breathing of ours. We've managed to excape the logistics and dwell currently in the aesthetics and true meaning of everything you've laid out on a plate before me. I nearly cry with the joy. I sit and wonder what it was that I did that made me so lucky to be where I am right now.
Then I realize that you're giving me an opportunity and I thank you for it. I won't let you down. I'll give back to you I promise.
Yours,
A small speck in this expanse of you

To D,

sorry.

-R

Dear You,

You know not what it means to be alive until you have inhaled the dusty light of the windowpane in an empty room. Staring into a brightness; immersing yourself in the completeness of the world that awaits you, seeking nothing. Then there you are. You must become nothing to know what it feels like to be alive. You must become paralyzed to understand the meaning of the tips of your fingers. You must stop to understand the intensity of having gone. You have to. Or you'll be dead.



Sincerely, Me

To words,

I speak, you utter, flutter, vibrate, echo, shiver, stutter
"lover, lover, you're unlike another"
then I close my mouth and endings seem so serious, devout, mysterious
the glassy silent eeriness it's clear that this
is not the word today
so then I turn, revolve, I yearn to walk away
with nothing
nothing more to say
nothing more to say


Yours, Anahi

To My Dearest Temptation,

I nibbled gently at your ear and closed my eyes despite the fear that my demise is found, disguised in this condition here. But you, you turned and stared with more than what you cared to share, you fought then, against? I'm not sure. So you fought, but you lost and with that you lost me. I sat on your lap, my eyes still shut and close to you, pressed nose to nose, I smiled. I'm unaware. You clasp your hands around my arms and pull me back, you didn't need to say much more. The events that follow are written on the blank useless pages that take up space before and after a book. I don't necessarily want this, but it happens again and again. What else is there to do?

Sincerely,
Anahi

Dear Lie,

I don't feel comfortable enough with myself to submit to you. To take the route of passivity to reach a safe bliss not a long distance away. I'm sorry but I just can't. It's not the same for you and me, personally, I've dealt with situations like these before, I've handled them before by merely sweeping them under the infamous rug decorated by ignorance and bright patterns. It is not going to work today, because today I woke up with the same face and a different attitude on things. I'm not as eager to be happy today. I just want to make it through the week. I don't want to ride on you, lie, I don't want to be taken to a whole new world because it's been the same fucking world since the beginning. I ask myself what wants me more. Does death want me more? Does love want me more? I hate the black and white of how I feel. I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm super fucking splendid. I'm upset, I'm sad, I'm disa-fucking-pointed. Everything is inevitable. We all know it. "The worst is yet to come." "It'll get better." Good for you, you've generalized consoling words. Be more fucking specific.

Maybe I'm just bitter.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Sincerely,
Anahi

Dear Black Shirt,

I'm tired, let me land on you. Let me press my face against your buttons. Let me cry on you, please soak up all the tears that fall clumsily out of me. Let me wrap my arms around you and continue with this sad pathetic sight. Let me try to explain in a muffled voice why I'm so upset. I pull on you, black long sleeved shirt, so that I have something to hide in, something black and dark to escape from this world. I have nothing else right now, I just have you.


Sincerely,
Me

Dear Child,

It's not time to play anymore. It's over and it's done. There's no one left to share your toys with, no one's willing to have fun. It's over, kid, it's done.
We're a million, you're just one.
So stop thinking everything will fix itself, stop assuming someone cares about your inconvenient needs, just stop. There's a reason people tend to leave you behind. There's a reason no one dances on the street or tells a stranger 'howdy do.' No one thinks about those things, no one likes to be with you. You play tic-tac-toe and thumb wars, you talk about the freckles on a dog. You sing your favorite songs played on the radio, you laugh about what takes you so long, you don't get it do you? This isn't life,
life is what awaits you when you stop playing these games.
Life isn't a game.
It's the real deal.
So go drive a car, go smoke, go get fat and worry about everything. Go lose hair, go try to be pretty, go impress someone, go get a job, get married, have kids, settle down, work someplace you hate for the rest of your life.
Go wait for something that'll never come again because you left it behind for me.

Sincerely, Adult.