My Girlfriend,

Have you ever bought a book and admired its pages, its aesthetic qualities, its new-book scent? Then you crack open its cover and bend back the spine, disfigure the pages and relentlessly taint it? But as it happens, throughout the whole process of admiring it and destroying it you love each word deeply and truly. It all fills you and leaves you completely whole up until its final phrase. I say this now because I've never felt this much. I filled myself up with your smile, your voice, your lips, your laugh. Every little thing. Then you left, and now I'm just in a state of reminiscing you. It feels like every day is just another one that passes by and inches towards getting to see you again. I'm ecstatic about being with you; obtaining that title of being your girlfriend feels almost like an honor to me. I hope you understand that I'm here because I want to support you and be there for you through everything no matter how great or how terrible it may be. I've always had the potential to love someone immensely and with everything. I'm glad you came along and let me do that.

Sincerely,
Your Girlfriend

Dear Calculus

I love you
yet I dislike you
however I shall overpower you


Sincerely,
Me

Dear Window

You're what preventing me from speaking, from listening, from laughing. If you've never noticed then notice it now. I've always been trapped by you. You're made up of a thin layer of glass, protected by a thick shell of my self-consciousness.
I'm repetitive, unpoetic, blind, inept
and i'm never in the moment of heres and nows
im always lost in what could have been and these horrible things
such horrible things


Sincerely,
me

Dear Socially Awkward Penguin,

I relate to you. I feel your pain truly and deeply. We connect, little penguin, we connect. Waving at someone who was waving at the person behind you. Almost giving someone a high-five when they were reaching for something they saw in your hair. They drop their pencil and you're going to go pick it up but they get it before you do. A song comes on and everyone sings it but you don't know the lyrics so you whistle. Someone finally calls you but they're asking for someone else s number. You start to ask someone something and they start talking to someone else. You start talking to someone behind you and you turn around but they aren't there. OR
Worst yet you go to a friend's house but you don't know what to talk about so you look at the stuff on their wall or just walk around the room and read a book.

Why do these things happen?

Because we're fucking socially awkward.

Love,
Anahi

Dear "The Time Traveler's Wife" Movie

I expected more out of you, of course. I spent 10 dollars and a good 2 hrs of my life for you and you repay me with what? A couple of scenes displaying Rachel McAdams' and Eric Bana's butts? Or was it Brooklyn Proulx's cute interpretation of Clare at six years old? Maybe, or MAYBE it was the sad portrayal of romance between Henry and Clare? No, I'm sure it was possibly the father daughter relationship theme vaguely expressed somewhere at the end. The book is always better (though Harry Potter movies are always really good)than the movie. This is something you just can't help but stick out. However, somewhere in my mind I expected to laugh louder or cry harder. Well, you still left me teary eyed dear movie, but only because Henry DeTamble never stood a chance against time and the inevitable doom that entails. Maybe a few years from now, another director will get the pinata stick and give it another go at candy, though I really doubt it. Someone tell me, what's up with all these novels becoming movies? Screenwriters can't come up with their own shit or what? People, put down your remote controls and popcorn, just put it down. Do it. Read a book, it'll last longer.

Sincerely,
Disapproving Amateur Movie Critic

Dear Ceiling,

I look at you when no one else is home, I put my fingers up against you and try to push myself out of this box I've created for myself. Inside this room there are no doors, there are no windows. It's only you and me. If I breathe in heavily enough with my back against the floor you slip off the roof and onto the backyard. Sometimes you fall off the house and smash the surrounding fence painted badly so long ago. When this happens I get to see the sky in all its glory, the hovering trees looking down on the room and waving sensibly. The clouds passing by look down as well and say goodbye just as quickly as they came. The light dims down, the moon comes out, the stars twinkle in. It's all a twirl of day and night shifting over and over again past my eyes. Only when you disappear my dear ceiling. Only when you disappear.


Sincerely,
Anahi

To Sleep

Dear Sleep,

OH NOW you've decided to take a vacation and walk out on me haven't you? I toss and turn at night, flicker in and out of bizarre dreams, wake up later and later everyday. It's fine, we've agreed you can go out during the day, but the only times you can vacate the area at night is when I have a really important procrastinated homework assignment due in the next 5 hours. I don't understand you, I wake up shittier than when I fell asleep and that isn't how it should be at all. Good thing you didn't take the sleeping beauty job, you would've sucked at it. If you're reading this, sleep, and you've become offended by these words, then maybe you should get another job so I can hire someone else to render me nighttime happiness. We'll sort things out with the sandman tonight, fine? FINE!

Sincerely,
Your "not so sleeping" "so-so looking"

To: You

fuck you for never listening to anything that I ever had to fucking say. Always making me feel unimportant, always making me feel like a wreck. Fuck you, because only I can decide how worthless I want to feel. You lost the privilege of making an impression on me a long time ago.

Sincerely,
Me

To: The most recognizable face in the crowd

Hey, hi, hello, howdy. You've heard before that you can find things in the most unexpected of places? The most magical thing about the cheesiest and most cliche lines out there is that they have fact sprinkled all over them. This is what makes people eat them all up so quickly. I'd like to say Thanks, and that I can't wait.

Letters: Camille

Camille,
I believe everything you say. I believe you the most when you say I know exactly what you mean. Why is that? I don't trust some of the most important people of my life, but I trust you. Perhaps because we're both completely insane and know it? Or maybe because we're the same people but in different versions. The more I get to know you, the more I see myself in you. I know that may sound strange, but when I say that I mean that I feel like you get me. It clicks with you. Some lightbulb in a foreign room flickers. I mean that. I wish I could go to school and get to see you and pass you notes during lunchtime. I wish I could meet someone like you. If I fucked up badly, Camille, I mean really badly, would you still be my friend? I don't know, what if we never see eachother or something, now I feel really dumb. I wish you the best of everything in life, because if maybe if girls like us make it through bit by bit then wow, wouldn't that give hope to many many others? Sometimes, really, I'm a bit of a dumbfuck, and I really need to look back and say "golly gee, you really outdid yourself there" and then i ask you something and you say stuff like "just live your life without overthinking it" and send me videos about 3D squirrels and shizz. Stuff like that, makes me laugh for hours and hours. It's funny because right before I go to sleep at night it makes me think "hah, that camille." I've never been a compliment moocher. But you make me feel like one sometimes, like right now. When you said my voice made you happy. WELL our convos make me happy. Maybe we just make eachother happy. Silly kid, I'd like you to come over for a sleepover to watch something dumb on tv and watch dumb things come out of eachother's mouths or something. IDK, am I getting to personal ? ^__^
You're an amazing person, kiddo. Believe me :]
You've been a good friend.


Yours,
Anahi

Letters

Dear girl such a distance apart,

I thought about you yesterday and the day before that. Where are you now, I wonder at this exact moment, dear? Anyway, before anything I pray that you and your family are well. Stay out of trouble because a little bit can go a long way, you out of all people should know that. I'm writing this because I miss you, I really do. Just come back, as simple as that. Well, no I guess you shouldn't. Stay where you are and eventually things will bring us together again. May I trust you with something? I've never felt so alone in my life. Ever. Not even as a child when I only entrusted to myself the most peculiar things I learned, not even as a fifth grader who sat on the bench and thought of the most peculiar things, and here I am now, someone older who doesn't understand anything peculiar. I wonder if that even makes sense because I've learned I'm becoming less and less articulate as a speaker and writer. I'm nervous all the time, I'm tense all the time, I get ticked easily all the time. I wonder if you could help me with this. No, nevermind, I should be helping myself. I have a feeling I was not supposed to be here, doing what I'm doing. It feels all wrong, everything seems so wrong. How do I fix this? How do I fix myself to become a better person? That's the only thing I've ever wanted to become and that's the aspect of my life where I've screwed up the most. I feel like I'm getting stupider and more isolated everyday, I feel like nonsense all the time. I want to grow up and work and never see anyone that I didn't have to anymore. That won't take away the problem though, because I am the biggest problem I know.

Yours,
Anahi