Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dear Lie,

I don't feel comfortable enough with myself to submit to you. To take the route of passivity to reach a safe bliss not a long distance away. I'm sorry but I just can't. It's not the same for you and me, personally, I've dealt with situations like these before, I've handled them before by merely sweeping them under the infamous rug decorated by ignorance and bright patterns. It is not going to work today, because today I woke up with the same face and a different attitude on things. I'm not as eager to be happy today. I just want to make it through the week. I don't want to ride on you, lie, I don't want to be taken to a whole new world because it's been the same fucking world since the beginning. I ask myself what wants me more. Does death want me more? Does love want me more? I hate the black and white of how I feel. I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm super fucking splendid. I'm upset, I'm sad, I'm disa-fucking-pointed. Everything is inevitable. We all know it. "The worst is yet to come." "It'll get better." Good for you, you've generalized consoling words. Be more fucking specific.

Maybe I'm just bitter.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Sincerely,
Anahi

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dear Black Shirt,

I'm tired, let me land on you. Let me press my face against your buttons. Let me cry on you, please soak up all the tears that fall clumsily out of me. Let me wrap my arms around you and continue with this sad pathetic sight. Let me try to explain in a muffled voice why I'm so upset. I pull on you, black long sleeved shirt, so that I have something to hide in, something black and dark to escape from this world. I have nothing else right now, I just have you.


Sincerely,
Me